Why What You Have Is Never Enough

This is an article from Wall Street Journal.

We may have life and liberty. But the pursuit of happiness isn't going so well.
As a country, we are richer than ever. Yet surveys show that Americans are no happier than they were 30 years ago. The key problem: We aren't very good at figuring out what will make us happy.

We constantly hanker after fancier cars and fatter paychecks -- and, initially, such things boost our happiness. But the glow of satisfaction quickly fades and soon we're yearning for something else.

Similarly, we tell our friends that our kids are our greatest joy. Research, however, suggests the arrival of children lowers parents' reported happiness, as they struggle with the daily stresses involved.

Which raises the obvious question: Why do we keep striving after these things? Experts offer two explanations.

We aren't built to be happy. Rather, we are built to survive and reproduce. We wouldn't be here today if our ancestors didn't struggle mightily to protect and feed their families. The promise of happiness, meanwhile, is just a trick to jolly us along.

"This is an incentive scheme for the benefit of our genes," argues Boston money manager Terry Burnham, co-author of "Mean Genes." "It's a very fundamental trick that's played on us, this lure of perpetual bliss."

Don't like the idea that we're hoodwinked by some hard-wired set of ancient instincts? Blame it, instead, on societal beliefs.

Working hard and raising children may not make us happier. But these beliefs keep society functioning -- and those who embrace them prosper and end up passing these values onto their children.

We're bad at forecasting. Consider a study by academics Daniel Kahneman and David Schkade.
They asked university students in the Midwest and Southern California where they thought someone like themselves would be happier -- and both groups picked California, in large part because of the better weather. Yet, when asked how satisfied they were with their own lives, both groups were equally happy.

"When you're thinking about moving to California, you're thinking about the beaches and the weather," says Mr. Schkade, a management professor at the University of California at San Diego. "But you aren't thinking about the fact that you'll still be spending a lot of time in the grocery store or doing chores. People emphasize differences that are easy to observe ahead of time and forget about the similarities."

When we predict what will make us happy, we're also influenced by how we feel today. If we buy the weekly groceries just after we've had lunch, we will shop much more selectively. The downside: A few days later, we will be staring unhappily into an empty refrigerator.
Maybe most important, we fail to anticipate how quickly we will adapt to improvements in our lives. We think everything will be wonderful when we move into the bigger house. We don't realize that, after a few months, we will take the extra space for granted.
Experience should help us avoid repeating such mistakes. But it doesn't, in part because we don't accurately recall how we really felt, says Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert, author of "Stumbling on Happiness."

One example: We work devilishly hard to get that next promotion, because we're sure it will leave us elated. We forget that, when we last got promoted, it was a bit of a letdown.
With any luck, just knowing we are susceptible to these pitfalls will help.
But you might also try a reality check, Prof. Gilbert says. Suppose you think you will be happier if you move to a small rural town, adopt a child, or quit your job and become a high-school math teacher.

Don't rely on the opinions of people who live in small towns, have adopted kids or become teachers. Instead, spend some time observing these folks -- and see whether they're happy.
Becoming a teacher "sounds quite romantic," Prof. Gilbert says. "But hanging around high-school math teachers may quickly disabuse you of that notion."

Finding True Happiness

Hope Child "Husen" from Ethiopia, originally uploaded by snaperture.

After an exhausted Saturday, I woke up this Sunday morning to get ready for Church. My previous co-worker from HP Troy Fulton invited me to his church “New Song Christian Church” this Sunday. The church had invited a Christian musicians “Andy & Pam Allen” to play during the morning service.

I saw the World Vision booth in back side of the auditorium. It was a Sponsor a child program and it got me interested. There were many packages with a child picture on the table. It was heart breaking when I see all these poor children and think of what they have to go through each day. I want to help, but I wasn’t sure which one to pick. What country? Age? Gender? Who needs the most? Because I knew today I will make a different for one child.

During the service Pam shared their experience in Lesotho, Africa. In their visit they promised them that they would come home and tell their story to as many people as they could in order to help them. I was touch and tears were flowing out from my eyes. After the service I went to the World Vision booth and chat with Pam and she told me most people sponsor younger children and older boys always get left behind. So I ask them to pick me an older boy so I can help him. Pam’s eyes started to get red and so as I. The feeling I had in that moment was indescribable. The joy and happiness that I had was more than anything I could remember. I can’t make a different for the world they live it, but I can make a different for this child and their family. I realized I found the purpose of life and the happiness that I was searching for. The true happiness is not about yourself, instead it is about others and giving. For this event this boy and me's life were changed and we will see the world a little brighter after today.

“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” (Helen Keller)

Here is some information about the child I am sponsoring.

Husen lives with his parents, 3 brothers, and 1 sister. His parents struggle to provide for the family. His father is a peasant farmer and him mother takes care of the household. Despite their efforts, it is difficult to meet the family's needs.

Husen and his family live in a community severely affacted by the HIV/AIDS crisis. In some communities, AIDS affects the entire social structure as a generation of hardworking adults is being wiped out. Frightened children and exhausted grandparents rarely have money for food, school, or medical care. Through sponsorship, I can ensure access to these and other basic needs for Husen and his family.

Husen is in primary school and he enjoys science. He helps at home by caring for the animals. He likes to play soccer. He is in good health.
http://www.worldvision.org/Hope

A little info about Andy & Pam:
Andy & Pam live with their 5 kids in Chico, CA. They tour and work with churches – leading worship concerts and sharing music in church services, along with teaching their CALLED to WORSHIP workshops and training worship teams. http://www.andyallen.com/

Stumbling on Happiness

I started to read a book call "Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Gilbert. Only a couple chapter, but yet the meaning of "Money can't buy happiness" I totally get it. I have a couple questions about happiness and hopefully the book can reveals on how our mind works? and What make me happy?
Friends always told me I am too demanding, yet I am a perfectionist. Satisfactory come from achieving goals, and I always have a plan for me to follow it. Which makes me unhappy, why? Because things might not always goes by what you planned for. To understand and solve this problem I need to know how my mind works? And what is my purpose of life? If I have kids no doubt that they are the purpose, but what is my purpose now?
Here are some of my goals in the next 18 months:
One of my new goal is I am going to do 70,000 push up in a year!
Bike to the top of Mt. Diablo.
Travel alone (never tried before, so it would be a new experience)
Double the size of the company and department.

The Art of Being Single

Being SingleToo often people want what they want, or think they want at the moment, which is usually "happiness" right now. The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by willingness to accept the bad with the good do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile. I have a blessing which is sometimes seen as a curse. I am blessed with the gift of being single. For most of the twenty-something young professionals, it seems the world has already come up with it's own set of expectations on how we should live life. The world expects us to finish school in our early twenties, get a job, find the love of our lives by the time we reach our mid-twenties, marry and have kids. But the thing is, not everyone sees their dreams come true in the same way. In this article, I shall try to endeavor to change the way the world looks at being single.
The Art of Contentment.For most of us, being single will be more of a phase than a final destination. This is the best place to practice the art of contentment.Someday, I'm sure most of us will fall in love and get married. But the thing is, love will always be tested. Someone more handsome,beautiful, more charming, richer, funnier, sweeter would come along. If you have not practiced the art of contentment as a single person, chances are you would be tempted to want that and not cherish your chosen one.Practicing the Art of Contentment as a single person means that you take what life gives you, good or bad, you're willing to see it through. It means you don't walk away everytime things get tough because it builds in you patience, perseverance, understanding and a hundred different virtues that people in a hurry will never have. Being single means you would find how it feels to be alone thus, allowing you to cherish every moment you spend with your chosen one. The art of contentment means you wouldn't mind if life had to make you wait for so long to find the love of your life, because you know that the waiting would only make the finding much sweeter.
A Time to Know Yourself Better.Being single is a time of your life when you can get to know yourself better. You can pursue different interest and passions without having to ask another person's approval. It is a phase when you can keep focus on other things, discover your potentials and talents, and see yourself become more than what you expect to be. Allow yourself to surprise you.Stop wasting precious energy trying to figure out why you're still romantically unattached. It's all in the mind. Take the time to go see your friends, spend time with your family, do charity work and you will realize that you are not, and never for one moment, was alone. Try to get to know yourself first before you try to get to know other people.To be truly loved means to be known and accepted for who you are. How do you expect other people to know you and to love you, when you don't know who and what you really are?
A Choice Between Good and Best.Sometimes the dilemmas we face are not between what is absolutely bad and absolutely good. Sometimes, it's between good and best. Treat this stage of your life as a phase to evaluate who is good for you and who is best for you. Sometimes, you won't hear music, or feel magic to know who's best for you. The heart just knows and it doesn't need any romantically charged scenario to decide on the matter. Trust in your heart, and trust that time will eventually lead you to, not to the perfect partner, but to the most suitable partner for you. Being single is a phase of life that we need to be thankful for, because being single means our hearts have yet to choose the best one for us.
Almost a non-committal.Jane Austen once wrote, that it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man (or in our times a woman), in possession of a good fortune is in search of a spouse (just to be politically correct). Well, that was what the old school wanted us to believe in. Married life is a path most of us would take, however, it is not the only path there is.Relieve yourself of the pressure and stop making every single, straight guy friend a prospect. You have no business "entrapping" them and asking (which is more like "putting a gun in the head") them of their exclusive attention, if you're not ready for commitment yourself. Sometimes, when you spend too much time trying to find a boyfriend, you normally end up marrying the first loser who comes to your door.
Take your time, the world will wait.Being married doesn't guarantee that it will make your life happy. It doesn't guarantee anything at all. Sometimes, it only brings two miserable people together only to make their life even more miserable.Without the right intention, the emotional maturity, financial security and of course, unwavering love, you're better off unattached.
Living Life.Don't put your life on hold for Mr. and Mrs. Right but don't let it waste away with Mr.or Mrs. Wrong. Life is about things that you do and happen to you everyday. It's not about the things that could have happened but never did, or things that you think would happen in the future. Live life now. Live it to the fullest and stop beating yourself up, trying to be perfect on a Saturday night date. Allow life to surprise you with it's most wonderful blessings.