Season of Love

DSC_3373, originally uploaded by snaperture.

In most of my past relationships I through it was true love but in fact it’s not. If that wasn’t love than what it is? Maybe just infatuation and after the lover’s phase I felt we were nothing in common and sometimes we didn’t even know what to talk with each other. After a while our connection and communication closed and we no longer shared our life. I felt like we were apart in fact we were sleep on the same bed. Love ended and something we were confused was I in love. When time goes by, we have forgotten the feeling of love.

But than what does real love feels like? Maybe it’s when two people seem to know each other for ages. Their conversation never lacks of topics and never gets dull. People don’t have to say anything because they understand each other without words. And those silence and boring moments never feels uncomfortable. True love is when two people complete one another and putting partner in the first place. The most important things are action and communication. Love is a verb, not a noun. It requires actions and not how times you said to a person.

I know this time is "true love" because I never love one person that much before us, and I know I will never love in the same way after us. Therefore I know she is the one and my last one.
She is my best friend who I can share my thoughts, wisdom, and life with. When she is around everything feels better, everything tastes better, everything sounds better, everything smells better, and everything looks brighter.

Turning Point

Lean On Him (for Carrie), originally uploaded by snaperture.

“Hi, I heard a lot of good things about you. Just want to drop you a line to say "HI"

We started with a smile in friendster and our course of life has been changed. It was a minor simple greet when the simple message sent, but it was a huge turning point in our life. My intention was simple, I was in the process of networking people, and I assumed the more people you meet the greater chance you can find someone that match what you are looking for. We started the conversations back and fore in friendster and email. I invited her to my white water rafting trip on 07/07/07 and no doubt it was the luckiest day in my life. The real feelings started on the following Wednesday which I asked her to go salsa lesson with me in Café Cocomo. After the first dance I never want to dance with anyone else but her. All I can hear was my heart beat when we were dance because I was nervous and couldn’t breathe. The next day we went to Chez Panisse for dinner, I bought her sun flowers and took our first picture. The weekend was the beginning of our relationship. I took her to Sausalito for breakfast and hiking in Muir Woods. It was peaceful and felt everything was so right. There was a moment that I felt everything has been written by GOD and it required no explanation. And I realize all my fail relationships were a learning curve and preparation for this one. Life is a learning process and I learn how love feels the first time.

"Give your heart and soul to me and life will always be La vie en rose"

Some Kind of Illness

It is 2:30am.

I just woke up from a dream and can’t go back to sleep. I recently met a woman she is so perfect and I can’t even spot any flaws in her. It is unbelievable and I knew it from the start because she is the one I am waiting for. Love is a wonderful amazing thing, when the least suspected and when you about to give up hope then someone walk into your life and you are alive again.

It does feel like a spring time and the feeling is too strange and illogical. I am suffering from splashes of emotions. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t breathe, and I dance the wrong steps. It feels like some kind of illness (mentally and physically) or doping. Maybe this is call "falling in love" and looks like I am falling fast and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I hope someone will catch me otherwise this is going to be hurt.

I know I am not going to give up this time and I am not afraid anymore because this time I have nothing to lose other than woke up from a sweetest dream I ever dreamt before.

However, I do enjoy this kind of illness....

Love at First Sight, "The Alchemist"

I am reading "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho, it is a bestseller that was first published in Brazil in 1988. It is a symbolic story that urges its readers to follower their dreams.

I love the story of Santiago who encountered love at first sight.

At that moment, it seemed to him that time stood still, and the Soul of the World surged within him. When he looked into her dark eyes, and saw that her lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke—the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. Something that exerted the same force whenever two pairs of eyes met, as had theirs here at the well. She smiled and that was certainly an omen—the omen he had been awaiting, without even knowing he was, for all his life. The omen he had sought to find with his sheep and in his book, in the crystals and in the silence of the desert.

It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than of anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainly that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.

How wonderful it is to meet someone you love before you knew her/him.

Unhappiness season has moved on

I have a very good mood and happy today. Maybe the unhappiness season has finally moved on…

I was driving to work this morning, yes it was a long commute from West Sac to Fairfield, I was thinking I should be release because I finally detach my rebounder and I don’t need her anymore…..
Let me explain….

I was miserable last month about relationship, ex-married, and the broke up. Life seems like the end and I blame myself for it. Soon, rebounder appear, she is very pretty woman and the odd thing is she looks like one of my ex (the one I really love). She looks like her and sounds like her. We both used each other for filling the void of our heart. I knew we will never make a good couple and she is too complicated that I knew it would never work out. We had rules in this game, and I told her that the reason I like her because I got what I had lost in the past and feel good when people find lost things back. My rule is the day I start feeling in love that’s day I will leave.

I leave her couple weeks ago…

My Ex is getting married.

My friend told me to write it out.
My ex is getting married and it’s not like we ended on bad terms, we just grew apart. It has been bothered me for more than 2 weeks now. I feel moody, pissed off, and depress...
I have been dating different type of women in the past 2 years, but I haven’t found anyone serious yet. Each new girlfriend was totally different, and the reason is I want to find out what I really like.
I know I would never get back together and I let it go a while ago, but I can’t get past this right now. Why? I know I have a ton to offer someone, but haven’t found her yet, and that’s ok with me. I guess I feel cheated in a way. They not even dated a year and she is getting married.
Maybe I felt I lost the race, just not fair that I don’t have a serious someone.
Maybe I missed the feeling being in love.
I am very confuse and miserable right now...
Well, I do wish her the best and I am happy for her to find someone she really loves.

鍾意和愛的分別

This is from an email sent from my friend.
今天去彌撒的時候，神父在講道的時候解釋了鍾意和愛的分別。神父說最大的分別在於以誰為中心，以自己為中心的是為鍾意，以對方為中心的是為愛。就如你只會鍾意咖啡、鍾意雪糕，因為這些東西令你快樂，滿足你的慾望。但若你愛一樣東西，你會忘記自己，以對方為中心，一切都為對方著想，令對方幸福快樂。請想清楚你對你的伴侶的是愛還是鍾意，若你是因為對方令你快樂而把對方留在身邊，沒有想到對方是否快樂，這只是鍾意。若你為了對方願意犧牲自己，為令對方快樂，這才是愛。如果幸運遇上一個同時相愛的人，真的可以完全忘掉自己，因為對方會愛你如己，當然你也必需愛他如己。但真的幸運地遇上這麼一個人的，少之又少，比中六合彩的機會還少。當你遇上這人的時候一定要好好珍惜，還沒遇到的要努力喔。常存盼望，心存感激，定必找到你的真命天子。

The "One"

I went to Irene and Greg's wedding on 6/18/05. I know Irene in 6th grade and we went to the same high school. I am very happy for them it is like a fairy tale story. I wish some day I have my fairy tale story too and happy ever after. Seeing friends getting married one by one just make me wonder why is it that hard for me to find the one. Is it I have a very high standard and picky or the "one" haven't come yet?

What do you think?

The Art of Being Single

Being SingleToo often people want what they want, or think they want at the moment, which is usually "happiness" right now. The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by willingness to accept the bad with the good do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile. I have a blessing which is sometimes seen as a curse. I am blessed with the gift of being single. For most of the twenty-something young professionals, it seems the world has already come up with it's own set of expectations on how we should live life. The world expects us to finish school in our early twenties, get a job, find the love of our lives by the time we reach our mid-twenties, marry and have kids. But the thing is, not everyone sees their dreams come true in the same way. In this article, I shall try to endeavor to change the way the world looks at being single.
The Art of Contentment.For most of us, being single will be more of a phase than a final destination. This is the best place to practice the art of contentment.Someday, I'm sure most of us will fall in love and get married. But the thing is, love will always be tested. Someone more handsome,beautiful, more charming, richer, funnier, sweeter would come along. If you have not practiced the art of contentment as a single person, chances are you would be tempted to want that and not cherish your chosen one.Practicing the Art of Contentment as a single person means that you take what life gives you, good or bad, you're willing to see it through. It means you don't walk away everytime things get tough because it builds in you patience, perseverance, understanding and a hundred different virtues that people in a hurry will never have. Being single means you would find how it feels to be alone thus, allowing you to cherish every moment you spend with your chosen one. The art of contentment means you wouldn't mind if life had to make you wait for so long to find the love of your life, because you know that the waiting would only make the finding much sweeter.
A Time to Know Yourself Better.Being single is a time of your life when you can get to know yourself better. You can pursue different interest and passions without having to ask another person's approval. It is a phase when you can keep focus on other things, discover your potentials and talents, and see yourself become more than what you expect to be. Allow yourself to surprise you.Stop wasting precious energy trying to figure out why you're still romantically unattached. It's all in the mind. Take the time to go see your friends, spend time with your family, do charity work and you will realize that you are not, and never for one moment, was alone. Try to get to know yourself first before you try to get to know other people.To be truly loved means to be known and accepted for who you are. How do you expect other people to know you and to love you, when you don't know who and what you really are?
A Choice Between Good and Best.Sometimes the dilemmas we face are not between what is absolutely bad and absolutely good. Sometimes, it's between good and best. Treat this stage of your life as a phase to evaluate who is good for you and who is best for you. Sometimes, you won't hear music, or feel magic to know who's best for you. The heart just knows and it doesn't need any romantically charged scenario to decide on the matter. Trust in your heart, and trust that time will eventually lead you to, not to the perfect partner, but to the most suitable partner for you. Being single is a phase of life that we need to be thankful for, because being single means our hearts have yet to choose the best one for us.
Almost a non-committal.Jane Austen once wrote, that it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man (or in our times a woman), in possession of a good fortune is in search of a spouse (just to be politically correct). Well, that was what the old school wanted us to believe in. Married life is a path most of us would take, however, it is not the only path there is.Relieve yourself of the pressure and stop making every single, straight guy friend a prospect. You have no business "entrapping" them and asking (which is more like "putting a gun in the head") them of their exclusive attention, if you're not ready for commitment yourself. Sometimes, when you spend too much time trying to find a boyfriend, you normally end up marrying the first loser who comes to your door.
Take your time, the world will wait.Being married doesn't guarantee that it will make your life happy. It doesn't guarantee anything at all. Sometimes, it only brings two miserable people together only to make their life even more miserable.Without the right intention, the emotional maturity, financial security and of course, unwavering love, you're better off unattached.
Living Life.Don't put your life on hold for Mr. and Mrs. Right but don't let it waste away with Mr.or Mrs. Wrong. Life is about things that you do and happen to you everyday. It's not about the things that could have happened but never did, or things that you think would happen in the future. Live life now. Live it to the fullest and stop beating yourself up, trying to be perfect on a Saturday night date. Allow life to surprise you with it's most wonderful blessings.